Walk With Me

Walk with me awhile

Talk with me awhile

I like to see you smile

I like it all the while

To be with you is all I need

To feed the seed of all my greed

If only you were real

Then I could finally heal

Cheshire Cat Grin

Why do you look at me

With that Cheshire Cat grin?

Why are you in

Every dream of mine?

If I could erase you

If only from my dreams

If only you didn’t remind me

Of my own personal failures.

I was over you long ago.

But was I ever really?

I don’t know.
It’s hard to argue with dreams.

Early May

Sky, why doest thou cry?

  Weep well into the night like a child who lost a pet?

Why doest thou insist on getting me wet

  As the days get longer by and by?

         But it’s good for my herbs, I must say.

         Good for my garden when skies are gray.

         Good for my mood in early May.

You and I

I used to think we were the same

You and I

But we couldn’t be any more different.

I am calm and collected.

You are wild and eratic.

I am cool and calculating.

You fly by the seat of your pants.

I am considerate and caring.

You are selfish and cruel.

At times you are kind

But when kindness is needed the most

You are not.

I want you to be more like me.

Or who I strive to be.

But I cannot remake you.

Or try and fix your ails.

So this is how it has to be.

Looking for Life

I feel like I'm looking For life In all the wrong places. Where are you supposed to look? I ask myself. Trying, striving to live. Failing miserably.

You Devastate Me

You devastate me.

Perfect Alone

I have said Goodbye to you so many times.

Too many times and I’m tired of it.

I cannot be friends with someone unwilling or unable

To admit their shortcomings.

The way I was raised, when you did something wrong

You apologized and swore to try and do better. It’s easy to do yet you

Cannot even do that simple thing. Everything is the other person’s fault.

You never do anything wrong.

You’re perfect.

Keep that attitude up and you’ll be “perfect” alone.

Up

Up so late I can't see straight. You haunt my dreams every night. Afraid of, not the dream itself, But from waking up from it and remembering you are no longer mine.

We Were Never Lovers

To think we shall never

Hang out together

Again is scary to me.

To think that the last time I saw you.

Could be the last time I ever see you

Frightens me.

I know it’s what is best.

For our souls are incompatible.

But I do so love you.
And that love is real.

So it feels like losing a lover.
Though it’s never been like that.

I just hate giving and giving and

You can’t even give the simplest of requests.

That’s not a friendship. That’s you using me for your convenience.

And that’s not fair.

And that’s why we’re here.

Old Haunts Made New

Life is what you make it

And I plan to make mine spectacular.

There are people I want to meet.

People I can share it with

Make life even better.
I know the secrets of this town.

I’d love to show people.

I grew up downtown but now

Downtown has grown up on me.

I am going to have to reacquaint myself.

But I don’t mind. I’m looking forward to the challenge.

Old Haunts made new.

So Long, Farewell

I try.

I try so hard.

Do I try too hard?

I really don’t know.

I’m there when you need me to be.

Without fail.

But at every turn, our relationship fails.

You cannot take criticism which is a big red flag.

How can you ever grow as a person

if you can’t admit you are wrong?

I love you more than life and that’s saying something

Because, to be honest, you are hard to love.

But I have a heart as big as the Pacific.

And we’ve shared so much together.

But honestly, dear, you need help.

Help I cannot provide.

I’m not into staying in friendships where you have to rehabilitate.

I’m not a fixer because fixing is fiction.

People are who they are

And I’ve adored you for too long.
You’re no good for me and as a result,

I am no good for you.
It’s sad to let you go

After all these years,

But the choice has really been made for me.

I have standards for friends that are high and you know this.

I’m sorry you cannot meet those standards but someone will.

I’m not giving up on living life.

You’ve at least given me that.

Foolhardy

Full belly.

Full heart.

Full head.

Foolhardy.

Fool me once

Shame on you.

My shame keeps growing

By the day.

Desperation doesn’t

A cool cat make.

I am who I am which is

Who I wanna be.

Can’t be anything else

But the authentic me.

I care too much.

I love too much.

I am too much

For some people, it seems.

Even in my dreams

I end up disappointed.

And life is one big dream

I cannot wake up from.

Queens

Yes, our women are our Queens

And deserve to be treated as such.

So open doors, be courteous, be kind, be gentle.

And let them make their own decisions

In every avenue regarding their own health,

Their own well-being.

Dreams

Dreams are finicky things.

You know what I mean.

You can feel them.

You can smell them.

You live them.

Have you ever been in a dream

So real

That you forget you can wake up

And end it anytime you want?

Most of the dreams you forget to wake up from

Are the ones you most want to wake up from!

And then are the dreams

That take you to places

You’ve never been

But always wanted to see.

Those are the best dreams.

Some dreams haunt you.

Remind you of love lost long ago —

Of someone you once loved but have tried hard to forget.

Those are the dreams I can’t understand.

You wonder if the other is dreaming of you

In-kind

Perhaps even at the same time?

But no. People move on.

Keep living their lives.

Then there is me.

Living and dreaming in the past.

Wondering why you keep haunting my dreams.

A Tree

A tree with no rings

Was just born today

Kicking and screaming

It found its own way

Into the world

But wasn’t prepared

For all of the pomp and

All of the airs.

It came into here

Just as you left

And when it saw you

It drew its last breath.

A Lesser Man

I don’t know who the fuck you think I am.

A lesser man, enamored with your beauty,

Might take the abuse.

I don’t know.

I’m not a lesser man.

I can only be who I am

And I certainly won’t take it.

You say I think too highly of myself

Which isn’t something a friend should ever say

To another friend

But why do you think I should bow to your whims?

Why should I put up with your shit?

A lesser man might.

Find you a lesser man.

Lies and Ignorance

If you don’t love me enough

To say, “I’m sorry,”

Then you never truly loved me at all

And it was all lies.

If you’re too proud, in your ignorance,

To say, “I was wrong”

Then I’ve wasted too much of my time already

On this relationship.

I give too much

To be treated with disrespect.

I love too deeply

For it not to be reciprocated.

I will not lie,

And say I do not love you,

But honey, I love me more,

And I don’t let anyone run over me

Or treat me less than I deserve.

I never have

And I will not start now.

Anguished Sonnet

When I’m in pain I write, I write, I write.

It somehow helps me handle hurtful times.

And if it’s dark, my words provide a light.

Sometimes they do not even have to rhyme.

I pen these words, not in anguish nor in fear

But in strength and knowledge that I will make it through.

And one day soon, I’ll allow someone so near

I can share these words with her to give a clue

For the key to my heart is through these mournful words.

I often leave a trail of tears in my wake.

And if you want to get me and be heard

It’s helpful to have tools before you take

My heart in your hands — please be gentle.

I’m kind and caring my pains are all mental.

A Fool's Sonnet

If once I’ve been fooled, I’ve been fooled a thousand times.

A useful idiot I become. I play that role well.

I have to love myself too much to capitulate to those crimes.

If ever I did, I do now I swear.

I wish I had stories of true love to tell.

Of dining in fancy places, drinks til two on the town.

I would but I get in my own way so well.

I still so love the way you look in that gown.

Only I can rend back control of my life.

It’s up to me to do what I have to do.

So onward I go, alone through all the strife.

Onward I go, alone, and without you.

When once I’ve gained the courage, I've gained a thousand men's.
Life will be mine and livable again.

You

Somewhere is humanity. In there hiding Amongst all the hateful rhetoric The attacks on politicians. Somewhere there is hope. Somewhere there is you.

That Sound

I wrote A poem For you Today. It's About A thing You often Say When You're alone And no one can hear — A sound That only you can bear To utter When You're feeling Down. That wonderful, Awful, Joyful sound —

Toes

There are times Like these When you need Release, And times Like those That curl Your toes.

Allesandra

Allesandra, to me you are perfection

Like a sunset over the horizon of the sea.

I shall smother you with as much affection

As your beauty and presence have gifted to me.

As your love gives to me.

MOTHER

Maternal instinct always knows best

On all accounts, the best place is mom’s nest

The fact of the matter is that no one is better.

Her lessons of life are the premier tone-setter.

Every mom should be treated respectfully.
Remember your mom on this day especially.